week 13 post1

Have you made friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace? If so, how are they different from f2f relationships? If you have not formed cyber relationships, why not?

I have never made friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace. I have an experience talking with someone online through Skype, but the conversation was only for that moment because I just wanted to kill time at that time. It would be troublesome for me if the person online kept talking to me every week like my real friends because I don't want to spend my time for people in cyberspace. I also feel that it is unsecure to talk with people online because I cannot talk to them face to face, and there is no way to know who the person really is. Thus, if I have a trouble or something to concern, I would talk to my friends who I already know rather than people online.

I have a friend who tries to find a romantic partner in a different country through Skype. Once he got a girlfriend through Skype, but after a while, his “girlfriend” said to him that she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore and he lost contact with her. He was hurt, but my friend and I didn’t know what to say to him because we didn't think it is a good idea to find a girlfriend through Skype for the first place.
On the other hand, I think it is a good idea to find a romantic partner online through a specialized internet site, such as match.com or harmony.com. This is because these sites can be used as an opportunity to find a partner. They can actually meet, and then be a couple if they liked each other. They can see each other, so I think it is more real and safer than being together just inside the cyberspace.

Week 12 post 2

Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

I found the Organizational Chart: Campus Safety Department at XYZ University especially interesting. Before I read this chapter, I never realized that there are three kinds of flows: downward flow, upward flow, and horizontal flow.
I am working at a cake shop, and I really feel a good utilization of these flows is necessary for organizations. My coworkers and my job is to sell cakes at a shop. Our boss/chef sends cakes to the cake shop from a factory that is 20 minutes away by a car. Thus, our boss is always at the factory making cakes and creating new cakes, so he rarely comes to the shop. Since he doesn’t have time to sell cakes, we (the sellers) know more about actual reactions from the customers towards our cakes than the chef.

There are meetings where we can exchange our ideas and the idea of the chef, but it takes place only once few months. Sometimes the chef sends cakes a lot more than we can sell in a day. Sometimes we run out cakes when there are lot more customers who want to buy. I want to suggest to my boss, that we should strength our upward flow so we can sell our cakes more efficiently.

Week 12 post 3

Review the etiquette rules suggested in the text. Respond to each one. Have you ever been bothered by cell phone, answering machines, or beepers? What do you feel about call waiting? Is it rude to put people on hold to take another call?

I think etiquette for cellular phones should be followed not only in business settings but also in other occasions. In Japan, text messaging is more common than talking. I don’t like my friend text messaging to someone when we are having conversation because I feel bad talking to her and destructing her. If there are other friends, maybe one of them can text message, but if there are only two people, I think it is rude for the other.
I also believe it is rude to put people on hold to take another call. I think we should call the person back after finish talking with the current person.

As for etiquette for answering machines, I agree with the textbook. It is okay to make jokes among friends, but making jokes on business answering machines is deadly. I also think when we are leaving a message, we should inform the person if he/she should call us back after the message.

During a conference call, we need to be especially cautious for telling a joke. A conference call is a serious and a professional situation, so we should behave as professional as possible.

I think we need to be very careful for etiquette for faxes because as the textbook states, “a fax may be seen by many people in an office” (242). I also call the would-be recipient to make sure that he/she received the fax if the fax is important.

Timing our communications is also important. I see some people use cell phone while they drive, but it is extremely dangerous. I also think business calls at night and weekends should be avoided.

I agree with the textbook that screen names and ring tones should be appropriate. When I wrote resume, I was always told that I need to create a new e-mail account or change e-mail address that is appropriate for professional settings.

Week 12 post 1

How are organizations tied to the environment? What is the relationship between the school you attend and the city or town in which it is situated? What, if any, ethical obligations does an organization like a college or university have to the local community?

The textbook states, “Organizations depend on their surroundings for resources and energy” (215). I think this is very true. For example, our school, San Jose State University is using some of the important functions thanks to its particular region, Silicon Valley. As the city, San Jose, has grown to be one of the most advanced cities in a field of technology, SJSU also has grown to be the university that has modern technologies. Using e-mails to contact with professors and other students is a typical way of communication in classes for us, and using laptop computers instead of taking notes in a class is also common in these days at SJSU. These things we take it for granted in SJSU aren’t always there in other schools. The university near my hometown in Japan doesn’t have these functions that SJSU has, such as Blackboard and online courses. We cannot use internet in a café either in my hometown. It is the environment that made possible for SJSU to utilize the advanced technologies on campus.
An organization has ethical obligations to the local community. Since SJSU and San Jose State University is deeply related each other, SJSU has ethical obligations to the city and the community. One of the examples is sending graduated students to local companies. Some of the students who learned IT at SJSU should work in Santa Clara region. If all of the students got jobs in different regions, the city cannot grow anymore nor get benefit of having SJSU.

week 11 post3

I found autonomy-togetherness dialectic interesting in this chapter. I sometimes found myself in trouble because I wanted too much closeness with my friends, roommates, and a romantic partner. I am always happy to disclosure myself to people who are close to me, and I also want to know them as much as I can. I believe, by disclosing myself, or sharing experiences, feelings, and concerns, I can get closer to them and get along with them better. I like a relationship and a bonding I create with others.

However, I noticed that some people don’t like to disclose themselves to others as much as I do. One of my former roommates became a good friend of mine. I really liked her, and enjoyed hanging out with her. However, I tried to talk to her not as much as I want because I sometimes felt that she wants to keep her privacy and time. I understood her, but I was little sad because I always love to spend time with other people.

I think knowing the autonomy-togetherness dialectic is extremely important for interpersonal communication. If we want to keep a good relationship with our friends or partners, we need to sense and respect the way they prefer to relate with others.

week 11 post 2

Think about the filters you use to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners. What characteristics or behaviors lead you to judge others as unattractive? Does Duck's theory make sense to you? Have you ever eliminated someone by using a sociological or pre-interaction cue only to reconsider them based on interaction and cognitive cues?

I agree with Duck’s attraction filter theory. The other day, my male friend told me that he has two guys he can introduce for me. He said, “The first one is good-looking, and the second one is not good-looking. Both are kind but the second one is more kind than the first one. So which one do you want me to introduce?” I thought I am the person who doesn’t care about appearance, but I chose the good-looking guy. Even though a personality is my first priority for choosing a romantic partner, I also judge appearance and eliminate guys using pre-interaction cues.

I also agree with the Duck’s idea of sociological or incidental cues that states, “maintaining contact with someone thousands of miles away is extremely difficult” (158). When I went to the U.S., I have seen many couples separated in the U.S. and Japan. Most of them couldn’t keep their relationships. I believe physical proximity is a big factor for choosing our friends and romantic partners. Thanks to advanced technologies we have today, we can talk or see each other using computers. However, I don’t want to find my partner overseas. Even if I found someone who has cognitive cues in another country, I don’t want to be with the guy unless he will come to Japan or I have happen to go there. This is because sharing the time is an important factor to choose my romantic partner.

week 11 post 1

Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be the most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved?　　

I think rigid complementarity is the most difficult to change. This is because the roles we are given based on our characteristics are hard to change. I think this pattern is the least damaging to a relationship because if the roles fit to partners’ characteristics, their relationships can be balanced out.

On the other hand, I think competitive symmetry is the most damaging to a relationship. In this pattern, “both members fight for the one-up position” (148). Thus, their characteristics tend to be both aggressive so it is hard to negotiate or understand each other. For example, I have an experience being stressed out by my friend. I didn’t like her idea where to go eat, but she didn’t like my place either. I followed her decision because I rather become patient than fight back to her. However, I was very stressed out because she didn’t even consider my idea or feeling. After this, we hung out few more times, but couldn’t keep the friendship because she was the person who wanted be the one-up position, but I wasn’t the person who can allow it.

Finally, I think submissive symmetry is damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved because one might feel the other is being careless to her/him. I think the best way is not to say, “You decide,” but to ask, “Do you have any idea where to go eat?”

In either pattern, I believe “to think as if I am in the other’s position” is the most efficient way to solve dysfunctional patterns in interpersonal communication.